FAVORITCITATEN:

> Sheldon"s bästa
> Leonard"s bästa
> Penny"s bästa
> Rajesh"s bästa
> Howard"s bästa
> Amy"s bästa
> Bernadette"s bästa
> Gästernas bästa
> All time High (Mina favoritcitat)

Howards "bästa/sämsta" raggningsrepliker finns här.


Sheldons bästa, Leonards bästa, Pennys bästa, Raj's bästa, Howards bästa, Bernadettes bästa, Amys bästa, Gästernas bästa, All time High


Penny: So, what do you guys do around here?
Sheldon: Well, today we tried masturbating for money.
(Från Pilotavsnittet)

Leonard: I don't think I can go out with Penny tonight.
Sheldon: Then don't.
Leonard: Other people would say, "Why not?"
Sheldon: Other people might be interested.
(Från avsnittet "The Tangerine Factor")

Howard: Don't you think I should answer the engineering question? I am an engineer.
Sheldon: By that logic I should answer all the anthropology questions because I'm a mammal.
(Från avsnittet "The Bat Jar Conjecture")

Sheldon: Count me out.
Leonard: What? ...why?
Sheldon: You want me to use my intelligence in a tawdry competition. Would you ask Picasso to play Pictionary? Would you ask Noah Webster to play Boggle? Would you ask Jacques Cousteau to play Go Fish?.
(Från avsnittet "The Bat Jar Conjecture")

Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
(Från avsnittet "The Lizard-Spock Expansion")

Sheldon: You know I'm in such a good mood I'm actually finding your tenuous grasp of the English language folksy and charming today.
(Från avsnittet "The Vegas Renormalization")

Sheldon: I'm not insane, my mother had me tested!
(Från avsnittet "The Griffin Equivalency")

Sheldon: What part of an inverse tangent approaching an asymptote don't you understand?
(Från avsnittet "The Friendship Algorithm")

Sheldon: Hello, Penny. I realize you are currently at mercy of your primitive biological urges, but as you have an entire lifetime of poor decisions ahead of you, may I interrupt this one?
(Från avsnittet "The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation")

Leonard: I'm just saying, you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
Sheldon: You can catch even more flies with manure, what's your point?
(Från avsnittet "The Gothowitz Deviation")

Sheldon: Alright, Poindexter, sit down, shut up, and listen.
Leonard: I'm sorry?
Sheldon: Oh, that's how my father always began our football conversations, and if you'd like, after the game I'll take you outside and teach you to shoot close enough to a raccoon that it craps itself.
(Från avsnittet "The Cornhusker Vortex")

Leonard: So you could teach me? I'm going to Penny's to watch a game with her friends and I don't want to look like an idiot. I want to blend in.
Sheldon: If you want to blend in with Penny's friends I'd think looking like an idiot would be the perfect camouflage.
(Från avsnittet "The Cornhusker Vortex")

Penny: Yes, I know men can't fly.
Sheldon: No, no let's assume that they can. Lois Lane is falling, accelerating at an initial rate of 32ft per second, per second. Superman swoops down to save her by reaching out two arms of steel. Ms. Lane, who is now traveling at approximately 120 miles per hour, hits them, and is immediately sliced into three equal pieces!
(Från avsnittet "The Big Bran Hypothesis")

Sheldon: A fear of heights is illogical. A fear of falling, on the other hand, is prudent and evolutionary.
(Från avsnittet "The Friendship Algorithm")

Raj: I don't like bugs, okay. They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women; ladybugs must render you catatonic.
(Från avsnittet "The Jiminy Conjecture")

Sheldon: Biologically speaking, Howard is perfectly justified in seeking out the optimum mate for the propagation of his genetic line.
Howard: Thank you, Sheldon.
Sheldon: And whether that propagation is in the interest of humanity is, of course, an entirely different question.
(Från avsnittet "The Vengeance Formulation")

Leonard: The more the merrier.
Sheldon: No, that's a false equivalency. More does not equal merry. If there were 2,000 people in this apartment right now, would we be celebrating? No, we'd be suffocating.
(Från avsnittet "The Gorilla Experiment")

Sheldon: You have to check your messages, Leonard! Leaving a message is one-half of a social contract, which is completed by the checking of the message. If that contract breaks down, then all social contracts break down and we descend into anarchy.
Leonard: It must be hell inside your head.
Sheldon: At times..
(Från avsnittet "The Classified Materials Turbulence")

Leonard: You know what baffles me Sheldon?
Sheldon: Based on your academic record, I could guess any number of things.
(Från avsnittet "The Cushion Saturation")

(on sleeping with Dr. Plimpton)
Leonard: It wasn't my fault!
Sheldon: The implication being that you somehow tripped and landed in her lady parts!
(Från avsnittet "The Plimpton Stimulation")

Sheldon: One bacon cheeseburger, breaking two Jewish dietary restrictions simultaneously.
(Från avsnittet "The Einstein Approximation")

Howard: Why do you have all of these unopened paychecks in your desk? Sheldon: Because most of the things I'm planning to buy haven't been invented yet.
(Från avsnittet "The Excelsior Acquisition")

Penny: So what do you say, Sheldon, are we your X-Men?
Sheldon: No, the X-Men were named for the "X" in "Charles Xavier." Since I am Sheldon Cooper, you will be my "C-Men".
(Från avsnittet "The Pants Alternative")
["C-Men" uttalas likadant som "seamen", dvs spermier. Webbmaster]

Penny: I once got a pretty big honor in high school, and I was terrified about appearing in front of a big crowd, but I went through with it, and you know what? The world looked pretty darn good sitting on a haystack in the back of a Ford F-150 as a member of the corn queen's court.
Sheldon: Thank you. I'll bear that in mind if I'm ever nomianted for the hillbilly peace prize.
(Från avsnittet "The Pants Alternative")

Sheldon: I should have brought an umbrella.
Leonard: What for? It's not gonna rain.
Sheldon: I know that, but with skin as fair as mine, moon burn is a real possibility.
(Från avsnittet "The Lunar Excitation")

Penny: That's thinking ahead.
Sheldon: The alternative would be to think backwards.. and that's just remembering.
(Från avsnittet "The Alien Parasite Hypothesis")

Penny: Honey, have you ever run before?
Sheldon: Certainly. I've run from bullies, dogs, angry chickens and one particularly persistent PE teacher determined to bend me over and give me a scoliosis test.
(Från avsnittet "The Cruciferous Vegetable Amplification")

Leonard: You'll never guess what just happened.
Sheldon: You went out in the hallway, stumbled into an inter-dimensional portal which brought you 5000 years into the future, where you took advantage of the advanced technology to build a time machine, and now you're back to bring us all with you to the year 7010, where we are transported to work in a think-a-torium, by telepathically controlled flying dolphins.
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Ohh..
Leonard: Penny kissed me!
Sheldon: Well who would ever guess that?
(Från avsnittet "The Boyfriend Complexity")

Sheldon: The Hindu code of Manu was very clear in these matters. If the woman's father is not around, the duty of controlling her base desires falls to the closest male member of her family, in this case Raj. The code also states that if she disobeys, she will be reborn in the womb of a jackal and tormented by diseases. If true, that seems like an awfully large gamble, given that the prize is Leonard.
(Från avsnittet "The Cohabitation Formulation")

Penny: (on the secret of the card trick) Not knowing is part of the fun.
Sheldon (imitating Penny): "Not knowing is part of the fun". Was that the motto of your community college?
(Från avsnittet "The Prestidigitation Approximation")

Sheldon: According to the Roommate Agreement, Paragraph 9, Subsection B: The right to bathroom privacy is suspended in the event of force majeure, and believe me, I am experiencing a very majeure force!
(Från avsnittet "The Agreement Dissection")

Sheldon: I miss the old days when your romantic partners could be returned to the video store.
(Från avsnittet "The Infestation Hypothesis")

Sheldon: Name your price.
Amy: Kiss me where I've never been kissed before.
Sheldon: You mean like Salt Lake City?
(Från avsnittet "The Infestation Hypothesis")

Mary Cooper: ... there's no harm in trying something new.
Sheldon: There's a lot of harm in trying something new. That's why we test out drugs and cosmetics on bunny rabbits.
(Från avsnittet "The Rhinitis Revelation")

Sheldon: New topic: Women... Delightfully mysterious or bat-crap crazy?
(Från avsnittet "The Isolation Permutation")

Leonard: You think we can outrun him?
Sheldon: I don't need to outrun him. I just need to outrun you.
(Från avsnittet "The Speckerman Recurrence")

Sheldon: I want to build a road, but I need wood. Do either of you fellows have wood?
Raj and Howard: [Both chuckling]
Sheldon: I don't understand the laughter. The object of Settlers of Catan is to build roads and settlements. To do so requires wood. Now I have sheep; I need wood. Who has wood for my sheep?
(....)
Sheldon: Now, where were we? Oh, yes. Does anyone have any wood?
Raj and Howard: [Both snickering]
Sheldon: Oh, come on. I just want wood. Why are you making it so hard?
(....)
Sheldon: And now that I have some wood. I'm going to begin the erection of my settlement.
(....)
Sheldon: Now, back to our game.
Raj: You were in the middle of an erection.
Sheldon: Oh, of course. It's right here in my hand.
(Från avsnittet "The Recombination Hypothesis")

Sheldon: A woman is like an egg salad sandwich on a warm Texas day: full of eggs and only appealing for a short time.
(Från avsnittet "The Egg Salad Equivalency")


Sheldons bästa, Leonards bästa, Pennys bästa, Raj's bästa, Howards bästa, Bernadettes bästa, Amys bästa, Gästernas bästa, All time High

Howard (watching America's Next Top Model): Oh, look! That's the future Mrs. Wolowitz. No, wait! That's the future Mrs. Wolowitz. With her head in the lap of... what a coincidence... is the future Mrs. Wolowitz.
Leonard: Yeah, and they can all move in with you and your mother. The current Mrs. Wolowitz.
(Från avsnittet "The Panty Pinata Polarization")

Sheldon: What if someone kidnaps me, forces me to record my voice and then cuts off my thumb?
Leonard: I'll send them a basket of muffins.
(Från avsnittet "The Bozeman Reaction")

Stephanie: [Looking in Sheldon's ear with an otoscope] I don't see anything at all, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Ahh, Well you're the doctor but I am constantly hearing this annoying sound.
Leonard: Me too.
Sheldon: Is it a high frequency whistle?
Leonard: No its more of a relentess narcassistic drone.
(Från avsnittet "The Vartabedian Conundrum")

Leonard: Homo habilis discovering his opposable thumbs says what?
Kurt: What?
(Från avsnittet "The Middle-Earth Paradigm")

Penny: Why can't all guys be like you?
Leonard: Because if all guys were like me the human race couldn't survive.
(Från avsnittet "The Middle-Earth Paradigm")

Penny [about his mom]: You can't let her get into your head.
Leonard: It's too late for me, my head is her summer house.
(Från avsnittet "The Maternal Capacitance")

Penny [referring to Sheldon]: What's up with Ichabod?
Leonard: Oh, he's trying to make a new friend.
Penny: Well good for him.
Leonard: Unless he makes one out of wood like Geppetto, I don't think it's going to happen.
(Från avsnittet "The Friendship Algorithm")

Howard: So, how’d it go with Leslie?
Leonard: Oh, we tried kissing, but the earth didn’t move… I mean any more than the 383 miles it was gonna move anyway!
(Från avsnittet "The Fuzzy Boots Corollary")

Howard: Leonard, a pact is a pact. You have to get Penny to fix me up.
Leonard: It's not that simple. What am I supposed to say? 'Penny, do you have any friends you'd like to never hear from again?'
(Från avsnittet "The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary")

Leonard [about Sheldon]: I haven't seen him this stuck since he tried to figure out the third Matrix movie.
Howard: How long's he been stuck?
Leonard: Intellectually about 30 hours, emotionally about 29 years.
Howard: Have you tried rebooting him?
Leonard: No, I think it's a firmware problem.
(Från avsnittet "The Einstein Approximation")

Leonard: If my PE teachers told me this is what I was training for I would have tried a lot harder.
Penny: Do or do not, there is no try.
Leonard: Did you just quote Star Wars?
Penny: I believe I quoted Empire Strikes Back.
Leonard [excited]: Oh my God. I'm lying in bed with a beautiful woman who can quote Yoda.
(Från avsnittet "The Wheaton Recurrence")

Leonard: Amy is judgmental, sanctimonious, and frankly just obnoxious.
Sheldon: So?
Leonard: So we already have you for all that.
(Från avsnittet "The Zazzy Substitution")

Leonard: Have you considered telling her [Amy] your feelings?
Sheldon: Leonard, I'm a physicist, not a hippie.
Leonard: Well let me see if I can explain your situation using physics. What would you be if you were attached to another object by an incline plane, wrapped helicly around an axis.
Sheldon: Screwed.
Leonard: There you go.
(Från avsnittet "The Desperation Emanation")

Raj: Oh, Leonard, you remind me of that funny old story about a man who walks into a women's correctional institution with a stack of paperwork that would allow the female convicts to go free.
Leonard: You're saying I couldn't get laid in a women's prison with a handful of pardons?
(Från avsnittet "The Desperation Emanation")

Raj: Can I bring girls here?
Leonard: You? Sure. Bring as many as you want.
Raj: Okay, deal.
Leonard: Just not against their will.
(Från avsnittet "The Roommate Transmogrification")

Leonard: Well ... they say at the end of your life, you regret the stuff you didn't do more than the stuff that you did. And, I'm pretty sure Alice is the stuff I want to do.
(Från avsnittet "The Good Guy Fluctuation")

Penny: Hi. Did Sheldon change the Wi-Fi password again?
Leonard: Yeah, it's "Penny already eats our food she can pay for Wi-Fi." No spaces.
(Från avsnittet "The Speckerman Recurrence")


Sheldons bästa, Leonards bästa, Pennys bästa, Raj's bästa, Howards bästa, Bernadettes bästa, Amys bästa, Gästernas bästa, All time High

Penny: Oh, please, that's not a time machine. If anything, it looks like something Elton John would drive through the Everglades.
(Från avsnittet "The Nerdvana Annihilation")

[Wolowitz checks his Caller ID].
Howard: Ooh, looks like I'm gonna have sex tonight. (answers) Hey, baby...
Penny: [To Leonard] His right hand is calling him?
(Från avsnittet "The Cushion Saturation")

Sheldon: [At The Cheesecake Factory] Who do I speak to about permanently reserving this table?
Penny: I don't know, a psychiatrist?
(Från avsnittet "The Hamburger Postulate")

Penny: I'm from Nebraska. When we shoot things, it's because we want to eat em' or make them leave our boyfriends alone.
(Från avsnittet "The Cushion Saturation")

Penny: Sheldon's in jail.
Leonard: What'd he do?
Penny: The same crap he normally does, except to a judge.
(Från avsnittet "The Excelsior Acquisition")

Howard: Would you have opened the door if you knew it was me?
Penny: Not since I found out the teddy bear you gave me had a webcam in it.
(Från avsnittet "The Hot Troll Deviation")

Penny: Well, I would ask you guys if you want dessert, but I know Sheldon doesn't eat dessert on Tuesdays, and even if Raj wanted something he couldn't tell me. Howard won't order anything, but he will come up with some sort of skeevy comment involving the words pie or cheesecake, and Leonard is lactose intolerant so he can't eat anything here without his intestines blowing up like a balloon animal.
(Från avsnittet "The Hot Troll Deviation")

Sheldon: Now remember, you were given powerful pain medication and a muscle relaxer, so don't operate heavy machinery, and try not to choke on your own drool.
[Sheldon is is about to leave]
Penny: Wait! You have to help me get into bed. [laughs] "Sheldon has to help me get into bed". Bet you thought I'd never say that!
(Från avsnittet "The Adhesive Duck Deficiency")

Penny: You know what, I'm just going to take the bus to work.
Leonard: Wait, Penny, I can still drive you.
Penny: No, you might slip on a banana peel and get me pregnant.
(Från avsnittet "The Plimpton Stimulation")

Penny: I feel like two totally different people. Dr. Jeckyl and Mrs. Whore.
(Från avsnittet "The Skank Reflex Analysis")

Penny: And, remember he's more afraid of you than you are of him.
Sheldon: That doesn't help.
Penny: No, I was talking to the bird.
(Från avsnittet "The Ornithophobia Diffusion")

Penny: Sheldon, that's not what girlfriends are for. Although, you don't use them for what they're for, so what do I know?
(Från avsnittet "The Friendship Contraction")

Leonard: Once you open the box it loses its value.
Penny: Ya, My mom gave me the same lecture about my virginity.
(Från avsnittet "The Transporter Malfunction")

Leonard: If I take it off, Sheldon wins.
Penny: Sweetie, every night you don't kill him in his sleep, Sheldon wins.
(Från avsnittet "The Itchy Brain Simulation")


Sheldons bästa, Leonards bästa, Pennys bästa, Raj's bästa, Howards bästa, Bernadettes bästa, Amys bästa, Gästernas bästa, All time High

Howard: You think you can put up with Sheldon?
Raj: Well I'm a hindu. My religion teaches that if we suffer in this life, we're rewarded in the next. Three months in the north pole with Sheldon and I'm reborn as a well hung billionaire with wings.
(Från avsnittet "The Monopolar Expedition")

Raj [on waiting for food]: Can we please make a decision? Not only there are children starving in India, there's an Indian starving right here!.
(Från avsnittet "The Dumpling Paradox")

Sheldon: I shower twice a day and wash my hands as often as I can.
Lalita: Really? So do I!
Raj: But you're a dentist, he's nuts.
(Från avsnittet "The Grasshopper Experiment")

(Arguing over the name for their team after having jointly decided to take part in the University Physics Bowl)
Sheldon: Teams are traditionally named after fierce creatures thus intimidating one's opponent.
Raj: Then we could be the Bengal tigers.
Sheldon: Poor choice. You know, gram for gram no animal exceeds the relative fighting strength of the army ant.
Raj: Maybe so, but you can't incinerate a Bengal tiger with a magnifying glass.
(Från avsnittet "The Bat Jar Conjecture")

Raj: You always do this, you know. You ditch me for a woman you have no shot with.
Howard: I totally had a shot.
Raj: With a woman you were chasing through a park? That's not a shot, that's a felony.
(Från avsnittet "The Cornhusker Vortex")

Howard: I would have caught up to her if I didn't pull my hammy.
Raj: Oh please, you weigh 80 pounds, you don't have a hammy.
(Från avsnittet "The Cornhusker Vortex")

Raj: These methods come from the ancient gurus of India, and have helped me conquer my own fears.
Sheldon: And yet you can't speak to women.
Raj: True, but thanks to meditation, I am able to stay in the same room with them without urinating.
(Från avsnittet "The Pants Alternative")

Leonard: Will you take that stupid red hat off?
Howard: No, I want to blend in.
Raj: To what? Toy Story?
(Från avsnittet "The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation")

Sheldon: I can't give a speech.
Howard: No, you're mistaken. You give speeches all the time. What you can't do is shut up.
Raj: Before the movie, you did twenty minutes on why guacamole turns brown. It turned brown while you were talking.
(Från avsnittet "The Pants Alternative")

Penny: Howard, heads up. Your ex girlfriend just came in for her shift.
Leonard: When was the last time you saw her?
Howard: Not since we broke up. Wow. How am I gonna play this? Sofisticated and relaxed? Friendly, non commital? Cold and distaced?
(She turn around and walks toward them. Howard quickly hide under the table)
Sheldon: I see you went with pathetic and frightened.
Raj: It's one of his best moves.
(Från avsnittet "The Hot Troll Deviation")

Howard: Raj, did you ever tell your sister about the time Sheldon got punched by Bill Gates?
Priya: Oh, God, you're kidding.
Raj: No, Gates gave a speech at the university. Sheldon went up to him afterwards and said, "Maybe if you weren't so distracted by sick children in Africa you could have put a little more thought into Windows Vista."
(Från avsnittet "The Toast Derivation")

Penny: What do you mean 'new roommate'? What happened to Leonard?
Sheldon: Same thing that happened to 'Homo Erectus'. He was replaced by a superior species.
Raj: I'm the new homo in town... (!)
(Från avsnittet "The Roommate Transmogrification")

Raj: You can't ruin a friendship with sex. That's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles.
(Från avsnittet "The Skank Reflex Analysis")

Howard: Okay forgot giant ants. How about giant rabbits?
Raj: Big or small, I don't like rabbits. They always look like they're about to say something, but they never do.
Sheldon: Rabbits do have a respiratory system that would support great size. And as a side note, they are one of the few animals whose scrotum is on the front of the penis.
Raj: Maybe that's what they want to talk about.
(Från avsnittet "The Wheaton Recurrence")


Sheldons bästa, Leonards bästa, Pennys bästa, Raj's bästa, Howards bästa, Bernadettes bästa, Amys bästa, Gästernas bästa, All time High

Penny [to Leonard]: Look, you are a great guy, and it is the things you love that make you who you are.
Howard: I guess that makes me large breasts.
(Från avsnittet "The Nerdvana Annihilation")

Howard: I am a horny engineer, I never joke about math or sex.
(Från avsnittet "The Hofstadter Isotope")

Leonard: OK, is everyone clear on the plan?
Howard: Yes, Koothrappali's going to wet himself, I'm gonna throw up, Sheldon's gonna run away and you're going to die.
(Från avsnittet "The Financial Permeability")

(Howard is teaching Sheldon Chinese)
Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.
(Från avsnittet "The Tangerine Factor")

Howard: Penny, let me take this opportunity to point out that you are looking particularly ravishing today.
Penny: Not with a thousand condoms, Howard.
Howard: So there is a number.
(Från avsnittet "The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition")

Howard: Sheldon, you remember the first few weeks we were looking for magnetic monopoles and not finding anything, and you were acting like an obnoxious, giant dictator?
Rajesh: I thought we were going to be gentle with him.
Howard: That's why I added the '-tator'.
(Från avsnittet "The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation")

Raj: I'm telling you, dude. The only way to feel better about Penny going out with other guys is for you to get back on the whores.
[Leonard and Howard look at Raj awkwardly]
Howard: Horse.
Raj: What?
Howard: The phrase is "get back on the horse", not... whores.
(Från avsnittet "The Lunar Excitation")

(Howard's phone rings)
Howard: Damn, it's my mother.
Bernadette: Are you going to answer it?
Howard: I'm torn. She might be dying. You know, I wouldn't want to miss that.
(Från avsnittet "The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary")

Howard: But if she dumps you, she'll have a new boyfriend by tomorrow morning, and you'll have a new girlfriend when you figure out how to build one.
(Från avsnittet "The Guitarist Amplification")

Leonard: It should go back to Peter Jackson. He made the movies; it belongs to him.
Howard: Fine, he can have it back... as long as he promises to make me a hobbit in his next movie.
Raj: There are no Jewish hobbits.
Howard: Clearly, you've never been to my house for dinner on Rosh Hashana.
(Från avsnittet "The Precious Fragmentation")

Penny: Who's Adam West?
Sheldon: Who's Adam West!? Leonard, what do you talk about after the coitus?
Howard: My guess is "four minutes, a new record!"
(Från avsnittet "The Precious Fragmentation")

Raj: Last night I had a dream we got so rich from the app, you and I bought matching side by side mansions. But there was a secret tunnel connecting your front yard to my back yard. What do you think that means?
Howard: It means that after we play handball I'm showering at home.
(Från avsnittet "The Bus Pants Utilization")

Howard: Her freakishly small hands make anything look big. That's one of the reasons I love her.
(Från avsnittet "The Herb Garden Germination")

Mary Cooper: I bet your mom is really proud of you.
Howard: Nope. She says if I don't back out, she's gonna go on a hunger strike. It'd take years before she'd be in any kind of danger, but still....
(Från avsnittet "The Rhinitis Revelation")

Howard: Why should I do something nice for you?
Sheldon: To go to Jewish heaven.
Howard: Jews don't have heaven.
Sheldon: To avoid Jewish Hell?
Howard: Have you met my mother? I LIVE in Jewish Hell!
(Från avsnittet "The Hawking Excitation")

Howard: You don't seem to be understanding the English word no. Maybe a different language will help... Russian - Njet, Chinese - Bu, Japanese- Iya, Klingon- ghobe, Binary Coded Ascii- 01101110 01101111.
(Från avsnittet "The Hawking Excitation")

Howard: Come on. If I was any good at convincing women to do stuff, I wouldn't have spent so much of my 20's in the shower. (Från avsnittet "The Contractual Obligation Implementation")


Sheldons bästa, Leonards bästa, Pennys bästa, Raj's bästa, Howards bästa, Bernadettes bästa, Amys bästa, Gästernas bästa, All time High

Penny [About Raj]: We should set him up with someone.
Bernadette: You know, I met a really cute girl at work. She's married to a guy in one of our drug trials. Penny: Well, hello, she's married.
Bernadette: Yeah, but her husband is in serious congestive heart failure, and a little birdie told me he's in the placebo group.
(Från avsnittet "The Wiggly Finger Catalyst")

Bernadette: Sheldon doesn't know when he's being mean because the part of his brain that should know is getting a wedgie from the rest of his brain.
(Från avsnittet "The Hawking Excitation")

Raj: I bought her a couple drinks and she gave me her email address.
Bernadette: "jennifer@notevenifyourethelastguyonearth.loser".
(Från avsnittet "The Santa Simulation")



Sheldons bästa, Leonards bästa, Pennys bästa, Raj's bästa, Howards bästa, Bernadettes bästa, Amys bästa, Gästernas bästa, All time High

Sheldon: How many sexual encounters have you had?
Amy: Does volountairing for a scientific experiment in wich the orgasm is acchieved by electronicly stimulating the pleasure centers of the brain counts?
Sheldon: I should think so.
Amy: Then 128.
(Från avsnittet "The Robotic Manipulation")

Amy: Should I go? I've been told, sometimes, I overstay my welcome.
Leonard: Wha... who told you that?
Amy: Well, most recently my gynecologist.
(Från avsnittet "The Pulled Groin Extrapolation")

Amy: Whee! Ooh, finally someone found second base.
(Från avsnittet "The Isolation Permutation")

Bernadette: It would mean so much if you would be the maid of honor at my wedding.
Amy: What? Wait is this some kind of practical joke? Like in Norway when my "friends" trapped me in a sauna with a horny otter?
(Från avsnittet "The Isolation Permutation")


Sheldons bästa, Leonards bästa, Pennys bästa, Raj's bästa, Howards bästa, Bernadettes bästa, Amys bästa, Gästernas bästa, All time High

Penny [to comic book store owner]: What would you recommend as a gift for a 13 year old boy?
Stuart: A 13 year old girl?
(Från avsnittet "The Hofstadter Isotope")

Mary [Telling Leonard how men do the opposite of what you tell them to]: If I hadn't told my brother Stumpy not to clear out the wood chipper by hand, we'd still be calling him Edward.
(Från avsnittet "The Zazzy Substitution")

Howard: You interested in Amy?
Stuart: Well, I mean she didn't look through me with soul-sucking ball-shriveling hatred and contempt. I like that in a woman.
(Från avsnittet "The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition")

Barry Kripke (lisping): Siri, can you recommend a restaurant?
Siri: I'm sorry, Bawwy. I don't understand "wecommend a westauwant."

(Från avsnittet "The Beta Test Initiation")

Stephen Hawking: You made an arithmetic mistake on page 2.
(Sheldon stares)
Stephen Hawking: It was quite a boner.
(Från avsnittet "The Hawking Excitation")

Raj: Doesn't anybody have a rod of resurection? Because if you've got one, I need it bad. Get in here with your rod and give it to me.
Stuart: Ok, you need to say these things in your head before you say them out loud.


Sheldons bästa, Leonards bästa, Pennys bästa, Raj's bästa, Howards bästa, Bernadettes bästa, Amys bästa, Gästernas bästa, All time High

TOPP 10:

1.
Howard: You think you can put up with Sheldon?
Raj: Well I'm a hindu. My religion teaches that if we suffer in this life, we're rewarded in the next. Three months in the north pole with Sheldon and I'm reborn as a well hung billionaire with wings.
(Från avsnittet "The Monopolar Expedition")

2.
Penny: I'm from Nebraska. When we shoot things, it's because we want to eat em' or make them leave our boyfriends alone.
(Från avsnittet "The Cushion Saturation")

3.
Penny [to comic book store owner]: What would you recommend as a gift for a 13 year old boy?
Stuart: A 13 year old girl.
(Från avsnittet "The Hofstadter Isotope")

4.
Sheldon: (At The Cheesecake Factory) Who do I speak to about permanently reserving this table?
Penny: I don't know, a psychiatrist?
(Från avsnittet "The Hamburger Postulate")

5.
Raj [on waiting for food]: Can we please make a decision? Not only there are children starving in India, there's an Indian starving right here!.
(Från avsnittet "The Dumpling Paradox")

6.
Howard: But if she dumps you, she'll have a new boyfriend by tomorrow morning, and you'll have a new girlfriend when you figure out how to build one.
(Från avsnittet "The Guitarist Amplification")

7.
Penny: Sheldon's in jail.
Leonard: What'd he do?
Penny: The same crap he normally does, except to a judge.
(Från avsnittet "The Excelsior Acquisition")

8.
Leonard: Have you considered telling her [Amy] your feelings?
Sheldon: Leonard, I'm a physicist, not a hippie.
Leonard: Well let me see if I can explain your situation using physics. What would you be if you were attached to another object by an incline plane, wrapped helicly around an axis.
Sheldon: Screwed.
Leonard: There you go.
(Från avsnittet "The Desperation Emanation")

9.
Raj: I don't like bugs, okay. They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women; ladybugs must render you catatonic.
(Från avsnittet "The Jiminy Conjecture")

10.
Howard: Why do you have all of these unopened paychecks in your desk? Sheldon: Because most of the things I'm planning to buy haven't been invented yet.
(Från avsnittet "The Excelsior Acquisition")

Och några till som är sanslöst bra...

(The guys are playing Dungeons & Dragons, with Sheldon as GM.)
Sheldon: The entrance to the dungeon is a moss covered door. You manage to open it only to find yourself face-to-face with a hideous, foul-smelling, moss-covered ogre. What do you do?
Howard: I say, "Hey Ma, what's for dinner?"
(Från avsnittet "The Wiggly Finger Catalyst")

Leonard: I'm just saying, you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
Sheldon: You can catch even more flies with manure, what's your point?
(Från avsnittet "The Gothowitz Deviation")

Amy: Should I go? I've been told, sometimes, I overstay my welcome.
Leonard: Wha... who told you that?
Amy: Well, most recently my gynecologist.
(Från avsnittet "The Pulled Groin Extrapolation")

Sheldon: Alright, Poindexter, sit down, shut up, and listen.
Leonard: I'm sorry?
Sheldon: Oh, that's how my father always began our football conversations, and if you'd like, after the game I'll take you outside and teach you to shoot close enough to a raccoon that it craps itself.
(Från avsnittet "The Cornhusker Vortex")

Leonard: Sheldon, we have to do this.
Sheldon: No, we don't. We have to take in nourishment, expel waste, and inhale enough oxygen to keep our cells from dying. Everything else is optional.
(Från avsnittet "The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization")

Leonard: Once you open the box, it loses it's value.
Penny: Yeah, yeah. My mom gave me the same lecture about my virginity.
(Från avsnittet "The Transporter Malfunction")

Sheldon: I'm not insane, my mother had me tested!
(Från avsnittet "The Griffin Equivalency")

Penny: So, what do you guys do around here?
Sheldon: Well, today we tried masturbating for money.
(Från Pilotavsnittet)

Raj: She gives me things, too.
Mr. Koothrappali: Yeah, yeah, I'm a gynecologist. I know exactly what she gives you.
(Från avsnittet "The Wiggly Finger Catalyst")

Sheldon: What part of an inverse tangent approaching an asymptote don't you understand?
(Från avsnittet "The Friendship Algorithm")

Raj (Looking at a krucifix of Jesus): None of our gods have abs like that.
Howard: Yep, that's the last Jew who did sit-ups... Look where it got him.
(Från avsnittet "The Rhinitis Revelation")

Sheldon: Hello, Penny. I realize you are currently at mercy of your primitive biological urges, but as you have an entire lifetime of poor decisions ahead of you, may I interrupt this one?
(Från avsnittet "The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation")

Bernadette: It would mean so much if you would be the maid of honor at my wedding.
Amy: What? Wait is this some kind of practical joke? Like in Norway when my "friends" trapped me in a sauna with a horny otter?
(Från avsnittet "The Isolation Permutation")

Howard: Sheldon, you are a condesending jerk. Why on earth would I want to do something nice for you?
Sheldon: Um ... to go to Jewish heaven?
Howard: Jews don't have heaven.
Sheldon: Then to avoid Jewish hell?
Howard: Have you met my mother? I LIVE in Jewish hell.
(Från avsnittet "The Hawking Excitation")

[Howard checks his Caller ID].
Howard: Ooh, looks like I'm gonna have sex tonight. [answers] Hey, baby...
Penny: His right hand is calling him?
(Från avsnittet "The Cushion Saturation")

Sheldon: I want to build a road, but I need wood. Do either of you fellows have wood?
Raj and Howard: [Both chuckling]
Sheldon: I don't understand the laughter. The object of Settlers of Catan is to build roads and settlements. To do so requires wood. Now I have sheep; I need wood. Who has wood for my sheep?
(....)
Sheldon: Now, where were we? Oh, yes. Does anyone have any wood?
Raj and Howard: [Both snickering]
Sheldon: Oh, come on. I just want wood. Why are you making it so hard?
(....)
Sheldon: And now that I have some wood. I'm going to begin the erection of my settlement.
(....)
Sheldon: Now, back to our game.
Raj: You were in the middle of an erection.
Sheldon: Oh, of course. It's right here in my hand.
(Från avsnittet "The Recombination Hypothesis")

Howard: You don't seem to be understanding the English word no. Maybe a different language will help... Russian - Njet, Chinese - Bu, Japanese- Iya, Klingon- ghobe, Binary Coded Ascii- 01101110 01101111. (Från avsnittet "The Hawking Excitation")

Sheldon: I should have brought an umbrella.
Leonard: What for? It's not gonna rain.
Sheldon: I know that, but with skin as fair as mine, moon burn is a real possibility.
(Från avsnittet "The Lunar Excitation")

Bernadette: Sheldon doesn't know when he's being mean because the part of his brain that should know is getting a wedgie from the rest of his brain.
(Från avsnittet "The Hawking Excitation")

Penny [About Raj]: We should set him up with someone.
Bernadette: You know, I met a really cute girl at work. She's married to a guy in one of our drug trials. Penny: Well, hello, she's married.
Bernadette: Yeah, but her husband is in serious congestive heart failure, and a little birdie told me he's in the placebo group.
(Från avsnittet "The Wiggly Finger Catalyst")

Sheldon: Name your price.
Amy: Kiss me where I've never been kissed before.
Sheldon: You mean like Salt Lake City?
(Från avsnittet "The Infestation Hypothesis")

Howard: Okay forgot giant ants. How about giant rabbits?
Raj: Big or small, I don't like rabbits. They always look like they're about to say something, but they never do.
Sheldon: Rabbits do have a respiratory system that would support great size. And as a side note, they are one of the few animals whose scrotum is on the front of the penis.
Raj: Maybe that's what they want to talk about.
(Från avsnittet "The Wheaton Recurrence")

Sheldon: I miss the old days when your romantic partners could be returned to the video store.
(Från avsnittet "The Infestation Hypothesis")

[Howard's phone rings]
Howard: Damn, it's my mother.
Bernadette: Are you going to answer it?
Howard: I'm torn. She might be dying. You know, I wouldn't want to miss that.
(Från avsnittet "The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary")

Raj: You can't ruin a friendship with sex. That's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles.
(Från avsnittet "The Skank Reflex Analysis")

Mary Cooper: ... there's no harm in trying something new.
Sheldon: There's a lot of harm in trying something new. That's why we test out drugs and cosmetics on bunny rabbits.
(Från avsnittet "The Rhinitis Revelation")

Barry Kripke (lisping): Siri, can you recommend a restaurant?
Siri: I'm sorry, Bawwy. I don't understand "wecommend a westauwant."