Svenska visdomsord:
  1. När lärda personer snackar skit talar dom på latrin.
  2. Det finns inget fint väder. Det finns bara fina kläder.
  3. Vilket öde det måste vara att komma sist i en Miss Universum-tävling. Alltså, att bli stämplad som fulast i universum!
  4. Skitfilmer visas ofta i VVS-format.
  5. Segling - en primitiv form av jordbruk.
  6. Jag besökte en fotoateljé i går. Och så tog dom inte kort!!
  7. 99 % av alla gurkor innehåller vatten.
  8. Rimmad lax? Det måste vara tax. För det rimmar ju på lax.
  9. Dagen innan onsdagen borde vara onsafton. Och då borde väl dagen efter vara annandag ons?
  10. Stockholm - staden mellan öarna.
  11. Saffran - det gula guldet.
  12. Det finns inga dåliga kläder. Det finns bara dåligt väder.
  13. Schack - det rutiga brädets fotboll.
  14. Golf - som att stå i en lutande dusch och riva sönder tusenlappar.
  15. Jaguar - bilarnas Rolls-Royce?

    Engelska visdomsord:
  1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
  2. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
  3. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
  4. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again.
  5. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
  6. If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
  7. Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors, and miss.
  8. If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
  9. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
  10. Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don't have a leg to stand on.
  11. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key.
  12. For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
  13. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
  14. If you dig a hole for someone else, you'll fall into it. - Hungarian proverb
  15. If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
  16. Indecision is the key to flexibility.
  17. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
  18. One seventh of your life is spent on Mondays.
  19. You never truly understand something until you can explain it to your grandmother.
  20. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.