Avsnitt 1 - "Danger"

Premiärdatum: 29 september 2006 (BBC 2)


Jo Brand
(vinnare med 7 poäng)
11:e gången

Sean Lock (4 poäng)
9:e gången

Jimmy Carr (0 poäng)
4:e gången

Alan Davies (-19 poäng)

Fara

  • Odds of very unusual accidents: Oddsen för mycket ovanliga olyckor: + 1 in 48 million — Being burned alive whilst you sleep. 1 i 48 miljoner - bränns levande medan du sover. + 1 in 30 million — Being murdered. 1 i 30 miljoner - mördas. + 1 in 120 million — Choking to death. 1 i 120 miljoner - Kvävning till döds. + 1 in 20 billion — Death by tea cosy. 1 i 20 miljarder - Död av te mysigt. + 1 in 257,000 — Dying today. 1 i 257.000 -Dying idag.

  • According to the United Nations, you are three times as likely to die at work than you are at war. Enligt FN är du tre gånger så stor risk att dö på jobbet än du är i krig.

  • Lumberjacks have the most dangerous jobs in America. Skogsarbetare har de farligaste jobben i Amerika.

  • The most dangerous job in the world is said to be an Alaskan crab fisherman. Det farligaste jobbet i världen sägs vara en Alaskan krabba fiskare.

  • The most dangerous military stratagem was organised by King Goujian of Yue in 496 BC. Den farligaste militära knep organiserades av kung Goujian av Yue i 496 BC. Convicted criminals were in the front line of his army and were forced to cut off their own heads. Dömda brottslingar var i frontlinjen av hans armι och tvingades skära av deras egna huvuden.

  • The most dangerous sport in the world is flying kites in Pakistan (the most dangerous country in the world) during Basant. Det farligaste sporten i världen flyger drakar i Pakistan (den farligaste landet i världen) under Basant. You have to sever kite strings filled with glass and metal shards. Du måste bryta kite strängar fyllda med glas och metall skärvor. It can only be played for 15 days of the year. Det kan bara spelas i 15 dagar om året.

  • The most dangerous manager was Harry Colcord, manager of tightrope walker Charles Blondin. Den farligaste chefen var Harry Colcord, chef för lindansare Charles Blondin.

  • The first person to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel was Annie Edson Taylor. Den första personen att gå över Niagarafallen i en tunna var Annie Edson Taylor.

  • The most dangerous sporting activity for women is cheerleading. Den farligaste idrottsverksamhet för kvinnor cheerleading.

  • Bungee jumping is a British invention. Bungyjump är en brittisk uppfinning.

  • Poor air quality (felaktigt: sitting down for too long) causes deep vein thrombosis on aeroplanes. Dålig luftkvalitet (felaktigt: sittande för länge) orsakar djup ventrombos på flygplan.

  • You should get 4–7 hours of sleep every night. Du bör få 4-7 timmars sömn varje natt.

  • Seismologists use the Moment magnitude scale (MMS) (felaktigt: the Richter scale) to measure the size of earthquakes. Seismologer använder skalan Moment magnitud (MMS) (förverkad Richterskalan) för att mäta storleken på jordbävningar.

  • The most dangerous earthquake in America since European settlement was in either New Madrid, Missouri (1811–1812) or Prince William Sound, Alaska (1964). (felaktigt: San Francisco 1906) Den farligaste jordbävningen i USA sedan europeiska bosättningen var i antingen New Madrid, Missouri (1811-1812) eller Prince William-sundet, Alaska (1964) (förverkad. San Francisco 1906)

I'll leave you with the observation of former Prime Minister David Lloyd George. [vaguely Irish accent] "The most dangerous thing in the world," he said, only in a Welsh accent, "Is to, to try to leap a chasm in two jumps." So from all of us at QI, good night.

Stephen: Now, what was the most dangerous military stratagem ever devised?
Jo: Was it Hannibal's first crack at the Alps with chihuahuas?

Jimmy: I heard a brilliant story about... You know the Darwin Awards? Obviously, every year, they have these Darwin Awards for people taking themselves out of the gene pool. And there was a brilliant story of a guy that... He was, you know, drunk one night, and he decided, "Right, what I'm going to do is bungee jump." His mates went, "You won't be able to do it." "I will." He just got a tow rope and jumped off a bridge. Obviously the foot just... snapped off, and he landed in a freezing river. With no feet. He couldn't swim.
Stephen: So take me back, because it's a good letter "D", for Darwin... I don't know the Darwin Awards. When you say "take yourself out of the gene pool"...
Jimmy: Well, it's stories from 'round the world of people that have killed themselves in such stupid ways...
Stephen: Oh, actually killed themselves. Right.
Jimmy: There's another brilliant one of a guy that was sitting in his back garden, and he had... got a couple of balloons and filled them up with helium or whatever, so that he would float. He thought, "It would be brilliant if I could float and drink beer. Wouldn't that be lovely? It would be... be so comfy in a garden chair." He went about a mile up and froze to death.
Stephen: What an arse! How lovely!

Stephen: The bungee strap is a British invention. They never, ever, ever break.
Jimmy: That must be... That must be a real comfort to the families of the people that the rope was too long. "You can have the rope if you want; it's still perfect." "Oh, thanks for that."
Alan: He can have another go with the coffin. Oh, into the grave, out of the grave, into the grave...
Stephen: Oh, it must happen. I want that to happen.

Stephen: Another dangerous sport is Russian Roulette, of course.
Alan: That's dangerous.
Stephen: Yes.
Alan: In the early days if you had a musket, you'd only have the one.
Jimmy: That was a man's game!

Jo: Do you get yours (trousers) made specially by the Queen's tailor?
Sean: I thought you'd had yours done on a loom by exquisite boys.
Stephen: This must stop...
Jimmy: "We're making Stephen's pants!" "I can't wear these; he's got a mole on his face."
Stephen: I... oh, God, help. (*)

(*) De driver även med Stephens klädsnobberi i säsong 2, avsnitt 1.